relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead
my mom and dad were arguing in front of me whether to give me a present now or to wait til christmas and my mom was like “can we give her it now?” and my dad was like “what present” and my mom was like “you know… the good one” and my dad was like “spell it” and my mom goes “GREG, SHE’S 23”
okay u can make fun of Shrek all you want but if u don’t think they were the most beautiful fucking movies ever then ur wrong
*laughs while actually getting feelings hurt*
You guys I’m in Disney World and this afternoon my blood sugar dropped so low I got separated from my family and somehow bought an ice cream and then blacked out and woke up on a bench with chocolate sauce all over my arms and Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on my head this truly is a magical place.